Dear Henry: I really can’t in her mouth?

Every two weeks Henry cleans out the VIE MSL mailbox and takes some time to answer a question from a needy, pathetic or simply highest paying reader of this blog.

Sometimes harsh, hardly ever subtle, mostly innocent but always helpful (or at least trying to be). If you have a delicate issue you need professional help with – just go out and get some… if you can’t afford it and nobody else wants to help you could always consider e-mailing Henry.

Dear Henry,

Hope you’ll get to answer this letter. I’ve been reading your column since the start and I really feel like you could be the only one to understand me. There’s actually two problems I want your honest opinion about. 

First – how do I know she’s having an orgasm? I wonder if my SL wife voice-fakes them… are there any signs that can tell me is she is or isn’t?

Second – she desperately wants me to cum in her mouth, but I simply can’t do it. I don’t think it will be a problem in RL for me if I ever get near a woman but in SL, like you probably already know,  the sperm will just shoot through and out the back of her head which totally freaks me out… it shouldn’t be that way right? it is weird I don’t want to cum in her mouth?

kind regards,

Stroker S.

Hey Stroker,

Two questions which I understand are troubling you but of course I’ll be able to answer them with one very simple reply… “what the fuck do you care?”.

You have to realise that although our society usually is offended by people caring only about their own pleasure, in Second Life this is not only considered normal behavior – it’s probably the only thing that keeps you from going insane… I mean – have you ever really wondered what all these people are doing on there? 97% percent of the females in SL are really males and I’m fucking and satisfying most of the remaining 3% so the chances of you running into a real woman and being able to please her good are really slim. Then again… and I repaet…”who cares…” As long as you orgasm what do you care if she is faking?

Now for your second question… again – “what the fuck do you care?” – it not like you’re still watching the screen when you orgasm right? Beat the bishop, flog the log, stroke the salami, play tug-of-war with the cyclops, shake the sausage – activate the purple headed yoghurt canon and blow her pixelated head of if you must… damn – I know women these days are so demanding – but you need to be sensitive to her needs as well dude. Even more since you’ll have SL minimized – be listening to her voice and watching some muted rl porn while you’re at it to get the full experience anyways…

Hang in there budy! Make us men proud!

Henry

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